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Female Led Relations are Different

New Discussion Topics

We added several new discussion topics that we have skirted around (pun intended) since our founding as overly controversial for our kind of site. In reality these are just ideas that like all ideas, need discussion. Gynarchy by definition means "rule by women or a woman" which we find close to the definition for female led relationships. Perhaps FLR is a kind of gynarchy. Female superiority is being talked up, are females superior and if they are, why? Finally as kind-of an advice like forum we added "Turn-offs" to allow men and women to honestly learn from each other what works and what does not.

Photo Survey - What FLR looks like to you!

We developed a new way for expressing what you think FLR should look like for you, perhaps your ideal FLR (as defined by the 48 images provided). What we don't want are differential answers from submissive/passive men "well if she wants it that is FLR." We are looking for what you want in the limits of good taste remembering we are not a fetish site. The percentage scores will vary wildly for a few months until we have enough data for the normal to take shape. You will be able to see how you compare to the greater norm and discern how far you are from what other men and women have chosen. Later we will allow these same images to be pinned to your profile to help you express what you are looking for from a partner(s). See Photo Survey

New Skins for 2018

Email for sign-up, friendship, messages and password recovery are back on line given you login with a valid email address you should be receiving messages

After a rough day we cut over to a new server and a new look feel. There were glitches (okay lots of glitches) that have been addressed and there are a couple more to fix. The volunteers will be addressing the email system and launching several new features before doing a general site wide clean-up. Thank you to all the volunteers who labored to make aboutFLR.com better.

Visualize FLR - Get Started Today

Want To Start An FLR AboutFlr.com has a new article to help you visualize and conceptualize how to start a female led, wife led or girlfriend led relationship. We field the question "how do I get started?" weekly .from women who are new to the idea and from frustrated men who want their relationship to become an FLR. What does it take to get started? Start with a self-assessment, follow with a conversation; then make a plan; then visualize FLR as you want it to be and you may get your wish.

FLR should be a positive relationship lifestyle that benefits both mates. So much is made of FLR because porn and femdom have hijacked the term to mean something unattainable to anyone. The reality is beautiful and attainable for any couple determined to move past FLR dark into FLR wonderful.

Excerpt: ....The motivation for the man is some kind of need -- something he needs her help controlling, He needs something from her and your relationship he is not getting. It wraps itself in kink and desire but it is actually very simple, he needs some else to help him change because he is not content within himself. Behavior modification is a good tool but it requires willful participation from both of you. My advice is don`t give in to the dark side. Degradation and humiliation cannot be undone without great pains and it is the opposite of relationship building and often damages the woman more than the man. So keep it real, and positive, punishment is a useful tool when applied appropriately but degradation and humiliation never work in positive relationships....

The Article, How to make an agreement

50,000+ Connections Celebrated

Our members are communicating: AboutFlr.com just passed 50,000+ correspondence between women and men. These are real people looking for female led, wife led and girl friend led relationships -- possibly even wife led marriage; couples wanting to connect and women wanting to meeting other women to share ideas. A great start for all. Connections often start here at AboutFlr.com, then go offsite through email and chat. AboutFlr.com is the starting point for female led relationship connections between real people.

Our members are good catches: We have doctors, attorneys, engineers, business owners, nurses and many other kinds of professionals all acting in anonymity until they decide to reveal themselves. The real people are connecting in real life too, meeting in person and telling us about it. Our green light helps people identify who is real and who is pretend.

Our members are active: Women and men alike can celebrate that we have kicked off over 100,000 fakes and pretenders. We often purge the member database of men who don't do anything useful, more than 80,000 lazy unmotivated men have been purged from our database. This leave you best chance of finding people who really want FLR and are willing to prove it by earning points and getting a green light.

Look for the green light, look for a high point score: challenge anyone who does not have a green light to prove they are real or they are probably just wasting your time. Women can communicate freely but women who have a green light and a full profile offer better leadership and some assurance of trust. Red light means "stop and ask for verification"

Green light for women $2.00, Green light for men $20*. *men must earn 60+ points before they can communicate.

Training men and women in female led relationships and wife led marriages

We combined both our training guides into one and added the 5 food groups to make a really good resource for women to use to train men as supportive mates. Men need the help to get over their current socialization. Women need the help to understand men and themselves to create a sustainable FLR. The guides are appropriate for any level FLR despite the titles, you just ratchet down the activities to your level of comfort and your goals.

The basis for guide one is using "score cards" and "goal setting." By using this guide women train themselves and bring their men along. The guide addresses issues of leadership, rewards, punishment, stopping masturbation, and growing good habits. The second guide embraces the use of male chastity to get him in control and help him learn self-control while he learns to become a more selfless supportive mate. Male chastity is a powerful tool which presents some opportunities you can't get any other way.

The 5 food groups help anyone discover their "must haves" and sort out the direction for their lives. We encourage men, women and couples to read the combined guides and report progress and problems in the appropriate forums so others can learn form you. Let's take a community approach toward sustainable woman led relationships. [get the guide]

Want Real or Fake?

We have several features that help you decide how real someone is. A red light is a warning that the member has not verified themselves. Verification is done through Amazon.com and we never keep that information online, it is not in our database anywhere. We keep the license number to help you know for sure. You remain anonymous.

We also detect scams with software. If it looks too good to be true is likely is. Most scams want you to go to another place, most often a Yahoo! email address. A great many scams come from central Africa and the former east block countries. We locate these as quickly as we can. We have detected and deleted hundreds of scams, frauds and pretenders and deleted them from the system. Please help by reporting scams, fraud and pretenders to the contact page on the footer of the site.

Get your address verified as a member, then keep it here until you are sure, then most of all - enjoy yourselves with other real people.

Alpha women rule the roost and men don't seem to mind

Pew Research conducted a survey of about 1,700 homes to see how decision making dynamics work. The poll found that in 43% of home women exerted more decision making power than men and that men don't seem to object to that. The dynamic is the tip of the iceberg of a social shift to modern women ruling their home lives. This poll did not take into account most of the relationship dynamics such as sex, grooming, and the laws of attraction etc.. It concentrated on common decisions couples routinely make. The poll also did not take into account if the couple has agreed upon a decision making model or if women just assumed it authority. While there are a number of unanswered questions; the take way is that women are feeling their oats more and making moves to lead in some areas of interpersonal relationships, a sign of confidence. [read the poll]

Alpha Female Characteristics

There is a growing number of women enjoying the alpha life and men seem to be adapting to a beta role. In the book "Winning At Love" by author 'Pat Webster,' he writes: "Until the last decade or two, if you possessed alpha female characteristics you might have tried to hide them. Those characteristics include competitiveness, aggressiveness when necessary, self-directedness, persistence, tenacity, determination and a strong sense of mission. A woman with these characteristics can also have charisma, which she can use to charm others into getting her way and accomplishing her goals.."

"In the past, growing girls and women were taught to submerge these characteristics. Sometimes they were shamed or punished or even physically harmed when they used them. Today, those characteristics are applauded and rewarded, especially in the world of business and profession. Today you can be proud of them."

Relationship Dynamics, Why Couples Fight!

It is common knowledge that stress and conflict in relationships most often come around the areas we call the 5 Food Groups. Couples who understand the food groups are learning to enjoy a relationship free to conflict. Discussing the food groups streamlines a relationships and helps couples discover harmony again. Women have a very high interest in level 1 FLR in controlling the Sex food group alone. While 2-4 take on control and management of more. Couples are doomed to repeat the same mistakes all couple have fallen to without this critical knowledge. We encourage you to dig in to the 5 Food Groups, people around the world are enjoying the benefits.

Female Dominant Couples? what is that?

Don't put to much into the usage of the word 'Dominant', it merely describes a relationship where the woman has greater responsibility and authority as a leader for the couple. People constantly say "a male dominated world" and no one thinks of men in leather corsets with whips. It is a double standard, and a dirty trick to have such double standards especially when they represent a system of control over all our lives beckoning us follow a traditional pattern of living.

Find other FLR couples to socialize

There are couples into FLR who want to socialize with you in their local area. There are links to good web sites. We have opened classifieds so couples and singles can reach out to others and people can promote FLR products and services. The ads are free but require approval. Click the "Classifieds" tab above to see them, and/or add your own.

Move the needle for FLR in your life

Move the needle for yourself and all men by attending new FLR courses. Look forward to 6 new MAG courses designed to help men and women find fulfillment in FLR. MAG (Men's Accountability Groups) are designed to help you grow and change your thinking. A wise man once sang, "Free Your Mind... and Your Ass Will Follow" --Funkadelic. If men hold onto their old ideas they will continue to be frustrated. Coming Soon!

Programming notes: men will automatically be granted open communication when they reach 60 points. Men with scores above 300 will automatically become mentors to other men. All course handbooks (PDF) will be $20.

Two very telling articles for women and men

We just published two new articles which are hard hitting reality laden gems. We encourage everyone to look them over. They cover the preferences and experiences of real people interested and participating in FLR.

  1. What women want and don't want in FLR
  2. Where am I in this experiment? - A man tells his tale of trial and error.

Female led homes

Consider the Female Led Home for a moment; you know the ones without men, such as happens after divorce? Women lead the home, seek out new guys and do just fine. They make all the rules and if they feel empowered, there is no reason that cannot continue when a man enters the home. Women often feel compelled to surrender leadership because of traditions, but there is no tradition governing blended families. We are free to make our own traditions. Women are free to continue to lead the home even when men are present.

FLR takes two actively participating partners

Big duh? We don't think so.... The topic of women struggling with FLR when their men are not following the program is common. We have dozens of examples of men sabotaging their own enjoyment of FLR which kills their woman's confidence. This is why we have been promoters of goal setting, agreements, practice and training; and why we remain supportive of couples getting outside help and following programs. Goal setting, agreements, practice and training have serious benefits to leaders and supporters. All to often we hear of couples suffering needlessly because they don't know where they are going. All of us know about financial plans, planning your vacation, education plans, and tax plans but most overlook the importance of relationship plans. Going the extra yard will be revealing. You will see clearly how far you have to go to make your relationship goals work by writing them down and comparing notes.

There is blame enough to go around, but that is not how relationships thrive, they thrive by encouraging each member and working together. Find the problems and fix them. Blame kills relationships by destroying the confidence and openness of the members. Encouragement no matter how feeble, moves the ball forward and keeps the communication lines open. The leadership during the set-up phase of a beautiful FLR comes from both partners; Then over time the man surrenders control while the women takes more control. She grows in confidence because of the encouragement of her man. Women who are not enjoying the benefits of their leadership and FLR clearly need to step-up and create a plan of action.

This page is being cared for by: Multifaceted Moi, Radzzz, David, Ann1000Days, and Prickly Pear

Last Edit: 03-Mar-2018, edited by Prickly Pear

Books and Guides


Introduce your wife to FLR
Get a hand up on introducing his wife, mate or girlfriend to FLR. The most comprehensive guide to introducing your mate to FLR ever written. PDF version is available for discreet/immediate downloads, paperback is ready
Training your man and yourself
Women who want to train, re-socalize or grow their men for the perfect FLR have a comprehensive guide. Boot camp, weight loss/shape-up, 2 day and multi week guided programs. We address punishment, masturbation and growing good habits. Ready now in PDF


NEW! Training men with chastity
This is a couple's guide using chastity and resocialization for training a man permanently. The guide does not re-cover anything from the first guide so you need them both. It covers chastity, punishment, rewards, positive reinforcement, community help and launching a growing FLR. Can be used to start any level FLR. 26 week program, ready now in PDF


For Relationships in Crisis
The most comprehensive guide to introducing your mate for relationships in crisis. PDF version is available for discreet/immediate downloads in advance of book release.
The 5 Food Groups In depth
How to have a harmonious relationship. Negotiating in relationships explained. How the 5 food groups can help you define and explain a better cleaner faster relationship. One hour with this book will enlighten you! Ready now

Books and Guides

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