A woman's guide to him pampering you in your Female Led Relationship

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"If you like being pampered good, now figure out how to keep him motivated doing it"
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A woman's guide to him pampering you in your Female Led Relationship

How does pampering look in the real world?

Liv: We definitely do practice this art form. I am cherished, loved, and adored from neck and backrubs to the exquisite foot rub whenever and wherever I want them. It is Gordon's job to see that my comforts are met from running my bath to fetching me a drink. He is loving and ardent in his devotion. -- an interview with Liv and Gorden by Lyric Kali
Tia: John is very loving and caring and this is one of the things that drew me to him in the first place. He is one of the only men I've met (in a long time) that is nurturing and kind, not only to me but also to my children. He loves to fix snack trays for everyone in the evening. He takes care of all of us and we love him for his very tender heart. -- an interview with Tia and John by Melody Bussey

Remember when doing this that he has a fantasy (you may too)

     If you want his pampering, then play into his fantasy. He will love it, and you will get better results. Find what motivates him but what will also bring you closer together. That is, if it is your goal to get closer to your female led relationships. He is asking you for a change in lifestyle that strokes his fantasies and is more than just play. In his fantasy:

  1. He wants you to exert power over him including humiliation and punishment.
  2. He wants your interest level to be high and for you to show onfidence and make demands.
  3. He wants you to control sex and his orgasm, especially with fetish sex, props and costumes.
  4. He has a willingness to give up control to you.
  5. He has a high interest in your body and in serving you as a woman.

     Pampering can actually be quite fun. With a little variation and planning, you can enjoy rich personal pleasures from the man you love while playing into his fantasy. The trick to playing to him is remembering the five things he wants in his fantasy. If you emulate or actually do them, he will be more fulfilled and potentially more eager. Plan differently depending on what level of commitment you have to FLR. For instance in level 1, you should play by agreement for short durations, such as 1 evening. In level 2, you can add more kink as much as you are comfortable with doing. In level 3, you are his chosen leader and he will want you to be more selfish and demanding. In level 4, he will want as much as you want.

     Set the stage for him and you - that is your leadership. The more you demand, the more you will get. Find things that please you as a woman. Push for everything you want. Don't ever thank him; assume you deserve it. Tell him when he is doing a good job or correct him authoritatively when you want it differently. Teaching him how to do something is always good. Don't be afraid to be bitchy or even angry. If you need to, pretend you are anything you want to be (role play). If you want to give him the thrill of a lifetime, have a friend join you. Choose according to your taste.

Setting the stage for him and you

  • Make sure the environment is private enough for what you want.
  • He wants you in control so be in control.
  • He wants you to seem bossy, demanding, and selfish. If you can't, no big deal as long as you can thrill him.
  • He wants you to control his sex and likely does not want to climax but wants to be teased and to please you.
  • He has a high interest in your body; involve him with it.
  • You are free to do what you want and give him nothing he wants though that may have an unintended result.
  • Start by making a list of what he is going to do. (see list below for ideas)
  • Make a list of his behaviors/attitudes in serving you and identify how he is going to do them. (see list below for ideas)
  • You may want your man clean at the start and to remain clean.
  • If your man is attractive, you might want him naked the whole time.
  • If you are going out you will need to tell him what to wear.
  • Create a hand written note to set the stage and explain your plan. His duties and the attitude he will need should be noted.
  • At some point where it makes sense, order him to strip naked and put away his clothes if you want.
  • You can order him not to touch you unless you ask.
  • If you like to tease sexually, enjoy yourself.

Listing of Pampering

  • Bathing you in a bubble bath or washing you in the shower
  • Have him greet you at the door and take your coat and bag and put them away
  • Make him dress and undress you
  • Have him cook and serve you dinner
  • Have him serve you wine or any beverage you desire
  • Command him to fetch things for you like another glass of wine for example
  • Have him kneel and rub and kiss your feet
  • Request a full body rub with oil and candles
  • Demand he go down on you while you sit or stand
  • Have him go down on you in bed then fall a sleep

What His Attitude Should Be While Pampering You

  • I want him eager to please - service with a smile
  • I want him humble and servant like - don't talk unless I ask slave
  • I want him obedient - serve me when I tell you and until I say stop
  • I want him respectful - call me Miss, thank me for allowing you this pleasure
  • I want him attentive, watch for my commands, act as if you will be punished if you miss something
  • I want him selfless - this is about me, you get nothing
  • I want him teachable, to learn these lesson - I am the boss, you will repeat the pampering when I want

How to Tease Him Sexually While He Pampers You (everyone knows when a man is aroused)

  • While you are clothed, order him to strip and stand at attention, command he not touch you, hover around him very closely and touch him until he is very aroused then command him to do something for you that is not sexual
  • Have him kneel and rub your feet, with your free foot, play with him gently.
  • Have him dress in an apron, while he serves you wine, reach under and play with him until he is very aroused.
  • Have him strip for you then take off your clothes. Command him to shower you and in the shower demand he stand and face the wall with his hand on it while you grope between his legs until he almost climaxes. Then have him continue showering you with no orgasm for him.
  • You can touch him anytime. The trick is not to do any act of sex where he will feel you are inferior to his position. Don't give him oral sex, don't let him take you from behind and don't spoon. Remain in control of his orgasm or deny him orgasm.

You can take it from here!

This page is being cared for by: Multifaceted Moi, Radzzz, Ann1000Days, SusanM88, GwenDlyn, and Prickly Pear

Last Edit: 07-Dec-2011, edited by Multifaceted Moi

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Women were asked
I want FLR pampering?
16% 2% 82%
 
 
 
Depends No Yes

*on-going poll requested of women

When women were asked they said 82% of the time they wanted pampering by their men. Pampering is a huge benefit of FLR, women want it and men want to give it.

 
Men were asked
I want to become a body servant in our FLR?
33% 8% 59%
 
 
 
If She Wants No Yes

*on-going poll requested of men

92% of men are willing to pamper their women. This shows the desire by men to become intimate with their women, to show tenderness and to become unselfish.

 

Take the polls for yourself - contribute to our knowledge of how women feel about female led relationships [click here]

 
Cross Reference - Additional Resources
 

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