A first look at a study of female led relationship role definitions

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A first look at a study of female led relationship role definitions

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· This article was last updated August 2011

The role of a woman and her man in FLR

     Female led relationships have been with us from time in memorial but only recently have we begun to study them and come to some understanding about how they work - the relationship dynamic, the roles and the practices of people living or experimenting with FLR. Of course in any relationship there are 2 people; and in the case of FLR the female is leading. There is no rule written that female relationships were exclusively between women and men even though this site favors that idea. Since we opened the can of worms why can't and FLR exist between a woman and a woman - "They do" And why is the women limited to one mate - male or female? Relationships exist between two people but the scope of the "female led" part of FLR could and sometimes does exist with more than one. This article however is focused in interpersonal relationships between a man and a woman.

     We mostly consider relationships as between a woman and a man as is the ideal and the stated goal for couples is marriage among the religious right. Yes the Christian ideal was also the earth's ideal for many thousands of years. Historically polygamy has been both immoral and illegal while the rich and famous rulers enjoyed harems and stables and some Mormons secretly practiced it - outside of Christian done it existed but never the nom or ideal. Why is it most of us see coupling up as the ideal? Consider the standard of a man with two women (which is sexy and he is a lucky guy) and a woman with two men (how is she viewed).

     All that said, FLR is not a new clean slate because we all still live in society with its standards and double standards; so everything a woman decides to do that is outside the norm of coupling up will seem to many to be odd and perhaps in some ways immoral or impure. The role of man in FLR is really up to the leadership of the woman and the willingness of the man. Some of the roles exist in lore and have not been studied or quantified and may only exist in the context of internet porn. This our first attempt to categorize female and male roles.

NOTE: all scales/ratings are 0-5 - 0 being the least and 5 being the most
personal independence = "how much independence does the mate have to conduct their own life"
personal authority = "how much authority does the mate have to make their own decisions"
couple authority = "how much authority does the mate have to make decisions for the couple"

Roles for women in FLR (that we know of)

  • The FEMALE co-leader mate. In FLR a woman is never less that a co-leader where she leads 1-3 of the food groups and co-leads or follows in the remaining food groups. The co-leaders would be exist in level 1 or 2 FLRs and would look fairly normal to someone looking in form outside. He mate would be "The MALE co-leader mate."
      3-5 personal independence
      3-5 personal authority
      2-3 couple authority
  • The FEMALE leader mate. The leader female would lead a man in all of the food groups but may only control 2 of the 5. The leader would be in a level 2 or 3 FLR and would be the dominant authority in the home. Her mate would be either "The MALE co-leader mate", "The MALE supportive mate", or "The MALE servant mate". She will have learned you don`t need to own all food groups to assert real leadership and management control.
      4-5 personal independence
      4-5 personal authority
      3-5 couple authority
  • The FEMALE dictator/ruler. The dictator female is in command of her relationship and enjoys a streamlined decision making process. She either is in a level 3 or 4 FLR. She controlls all 5 food groups. Her male counter parts would be "The MALE supportive mate", "The MALE servant mate", or "The MALE slave/subject".
      5 personal independence
      5 personal authority
      4-5 couple authority

Roles for men in FLR (that we know of)

  • The MALE co-leader mate. The co-leader mate role exists in level 1 and 2 FLRs where the woman is leading 1-3 of the food groups and the man is leading or co-leading the remaining food groups. He likely does more support then the average male in a male led relationship and seeks to please her as an adoring mate. He will be actively involved in decision making and live a semi-independent life.
      3-5 personal independence
      3-5 personal authority
      1-2 couple authority
  • The MALE supportive mate. The supportive male will likely take some criticism but all in all will live a rather normal life. His role is to support his mate by taking up tasks that allow and facilitate her leadership and to be her partner in life. He will be actively involved in decision making and live a modestly independent life. - If any roles was like a role reversal from traditional relationships, this one is like that.
      2-3 personal independence
      3-4 personal authority
      0-2 couple authority
  • The MALE servant mate. The servant mate will be dedicated to the support and pleasure of his woman. He has set his heart to server her in such a way as to be a benefit to them both. He will be involved in the decision making to whatever level is helpful to them as a couple. His life will revolve around his woman and their family, he will have some independence.
      0-2 personal independence
      1-3 personal authority
      0-1 couple authority
  • The MALE slave/subject. A slave by definition is the property of another. In this case a consensual slave by choice. The male has made this decision to streamline decision making and authority in his relationship and to show devotion to his woman. He may be involved in decisions or they may be made for him. His life will revolve around his woman and their family, he will have no independence unless granted permission to do so.
      0 personal independence
      0-2 personal authority
      0 couple authority
    • The MALE alfa slave. Alfa slaves are a subset of slaves and exists at least on the lore of the internet. They often are a man's man (manly). An alfa can only be an alfa if there is another male in the house that he is superior too. Modern mythology places the alpha as the sexual slave of a woman. Often in the lore the alpha male uses the beta male for sexual gratification - there is no clear evidence of any such role yet, it may only exist in fantasy.
    • The MALE beta slave. Beta slaves are a subset of slaves and exists at least on the lore of the internet. They often are a weaker, passive or slavish man. An beta can only be an beta if there is another male in the house that he is inferior too. Modern mythology places the beta as the cuckold, sissy, cleaning, domestic or humiliation slave of a woman - there is no clear evidence of this yet, as it is un-studied. This idea is pervasive in internet porn as a fetish and no study exists to quantify or justify it, it may only exist in fantasy.
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Women were asked
I like the thought of managing our life?
26% 3% 71%
 
 
 
In Some Ways No Yes

*on-going poll requested of women

97% of women like the idea of managing the couples lives. Add this to the 99% of women interested in having the final decision in the couples lives and it speaks volumes about how women feel.

 
Women were asked
I like the thought of changing him?
35% 11% 54%
 
 
 
In Some Ways No Yes

*on-going poll requested of women

Women think highly of the idea of changing their men. 89% of those polled were positive about it. So another strong motive is a woman's desire to control their environment and their men.

 

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