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Discussing Issues in Female Led Relationships

The topic of "Are there any positive elements in consensual slavery that benefit couples?" is covered from the viewpoint of the Author of this website, what Experts say about "Are there any positive elements in consensual slavery that benefit couples?" and how our users feel about the subject. You can participate freely. We invite expert opinion via email. We value all kinds of information such as: research, anecdotal information and perspective.

Discussion Home > The male fantasy of FemDom > Are there any positive elements in consensual slavery that benefit couples?

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There are men who on their way to self actualization and fulfillment want/need/desire consensual slavery. But is the slavery really the root of their need? IF we dig together maybe we can light a candle on this subject. My personal belief is that men need connection, intimacy and to some extend vulnerability and dependency to really have relationships and they sense that so slavery looks like a way to bring all that into focus. I suspect there is a better way called surrender to a women with intelligence who can lead a man to fulfill his needs.
Author: Victor 2011-02-20 14:14:21    [reply]
I would have to agree with your analysis. The need to play out the role of a slave is an outward expression of the deeper emotional need of especially intimacy and vulnerability.
Reply by: Cosearcher 2012-02-13 22:48:41    
I would say yes, provided she and he were in agreement and it was on her path to being self actualized and his, aside from that no!
Author: Ann 2011-02-21 09:53:26    [reply]
Ann I would agree. The woman's needs need to be validated here.
Reply by: Marc12 2011-03-28 21:56:02    

What our users say

A wiseman once told me that EVERYONE has something worth listening too and when you listen enough you will get smarter. We value the ideas and opinions of our readers on the topic of "Are there any positive elements in consensual slavery that benefit couples?. "True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information." Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)

When a dominant female takes control of every aspect of my life, I am enamored with her and always want more. When she humiliates me in front of her friends, I deem it an act of love.
Author: Guest 2011-06-01 11:05:13    [reply]
Guest Ick
Reply by: Guest 2011-06-01 20:45:11    [reply]
I guess you do not enjoy being served aby a male and having every whim catered to. If you gave it a ry you wou, I'm sure, adore it.
Reply by: Guest 2011-06-02 11:16:03    
Guest WRONG! I don`t enjoy being served by a man who wants to be humiliated. Humiliation is a good tool but in your case it is yuck because it is predominate. You need to learn surrender and sacrifice and humility. Those things will get you where you want to go.
Reply by: BettyRx 2011-06-04 13:11:06    
Guest I think the ick factor here is the very casual high level description of your desired relationships with women. I am curious as to the specifics. Can you share whether this has ever occurred with you and if so, within what context? Pro-domme? Long relationship? It would carry more weight with me if it were supported by real experience to the point that it was distinguishable from fantasy.
Reply by: Chris68 2011-08-27 06:02:28    [reply]
what about a guy who is a train wreck, and she saves him, herself, the kids and the relationship by his becoming a slave to her. Sounds like a good trade to me. ;)
Author: Guest 2011-09-15 19:44:40    [reply]
surrender is nothing we can vie for. It just happens. It happens when we allow the loving leadership of our spouse to touch our core. When we embrace her natural leadership and her decisions in our life. Surrender is love. Slavery is a fantasy hoping to gain attention without love. It can be a strong incentive to try FLR and for her to build upon as she guides him deeper along her lines. Slavery is impossible in FLR for FLR is based upon a love relationship. His will for slavery can be his will to follow her rule and one day learn that he cannot escape her love. Then surrender might happen.
Author: Buntekuh 2013-02-25 08:41:55    [reply]
It can be very good and effortless if it is with the person you really get it is what both want and are at there best cause they are together
Author: Laceylisa 2012-04-11 10:00:34    [reply]
Laceylisa My opinion it is very very rare that someone could benefit from being completely submissive, makes a better game. Enjoy!
Reply by: Prickly Pear 2012-04-23 14:56:58    [reply]
For me, what can be positive is to surrender control joyously and freely as a gift to a leading woman for the benefit of the relationship. I'm not sure how useful it is to play around with words and definitions in the context of a real relationship (as distinct from abstract ideas and fantasy.) All I know is that for me the phrase "consensual slavery" has a very different feel to it than that of a joyous gift, freely offered to a person who you respect and admire. Consensual slavery sounds to me like something that is all about the point of view and desires of the person who wants to think of himself as a slave. It's a selfish idea. Offering control is about honouring the woman and doing your best to understand her preferences, to the benefit of both people in the relationship. I'm not sure if that's an entirely logical distinction but it is how I feel about it.
Author: Karim56 2012-08-04 10:05:38    [reply]
I can't speak for others, only myself. As a man who has lived in a real 24/7 D/s relationship I would like to express my views from two perspectives. First, my perception of how my Mistress felt. I think that one thing She felt was pride in knowing that she had someone who was always thinking of her and thinking of ways to please her. I base my opinion on what she in said phone conversations she had (in my presence) with friends. Another thing I know she liked was control of the intimate aspects of our relationship. She always initiated anything that happened and never ran out of ideas which I took to be a sign of enthusiasm. What I can say regarding my feelings about this lifestyle choice was, aside from the excitement and fulfillment I felt, it made my daily life far more regimented and, as a result, my time management was more efficient. Living within a more less predetermined framework was very liberating. I think that it is unfortunate that the conventional thinking on the issue seems to be that there is something dark and decadent about the lifestyle. While I concede that people can make it whatever they choose, it can result in a fulfilling relationship with endless rewards for both people.
Author: Ralph54 2014-02-03 15:46:34    [reply]
We are getting irritated at men posting stupid comments here - this is not the place to tell us how your wife beats you - we are looking for intelligent dialog about the "positive elements in consensual slavery that benefit couples" not fantasy dribble.
Author: Susan 2013-12-28 01:18:56    [reply]
I would say that there can be positives for both parties really. Relationships can be difficult if you have two people constantly challenging each other for control in situations and where one party (say the man in this case), hands over control to the woman, that can be quite a freeing action for the man, whilst it allows the woman to be able to have things done as she would like, without the wasting of energy in the power struggle. I guess that there are different levels of slavery, but I suppose if it is viewed like a boss/employee type arrangement, then I feel that this sort of arrangement can work well in relationships. I would say that it doesn't have to be that one party holds all of the power either. Quite often one party(say the man) is better at arranging one area, where the woman is better taking control of most other areas.
Author: GT73 2017-02-13 09:39:41    [reply]
Personally, since adopting this dynamic with my wife, I feel I have become a better and more productive husband in many facets of our relationship that benefits us both. I could write a book on this, but for now I`ll simply mention domestic responsibilities as an example. I find it far easier to focus my attention on them if I take ownership. When my wife does chores, instead of thinking "she is doing some chores", I think "she is helping with my chores." Instead of feeling entitled to her help, I feel grateful and rewarded. Secondly, serving my wife as a "slave" allows me to practice vicarious enjoyment. The ability to truly feel enjoyment vicariously is a learned skill that takes practice. There`s no better way to practice this skill then through consensual self-sacrifice that this "slave" dynamic imposes. I fell that through this dynamic, I have developed and matured in this way remarkably. This maturity benefits not only her but it also enables me to be a better father. I find myself motivated to do things as a family not for my own benefit, but for the enjoyment I feel vicariously by seeing my wife and children happy. - edited by staff [reason: 20 points were added to this users MAG score for an excellent reply]
Author: Extremeflr 2017-09-12 16:39:49    [reply]

 

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