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Imagine a man has a fantasy of being a naked slave butler to a woman who is cruel and strict. You can spend time exploring that with him. In private bind him naked and very helpless on a couch or bed on his back -- blindfold him. Get naked so he can feel your skin (but not see it) then rest his head on your lap and sexually arouse him with your hand. Ask him a series of questions about what he wants, ask him why, ask him for examples, concrete examples details, make sure his resistance to answering is met with major pain (the kind a strict cruel woman would give - don't be shy lay it on). Use that fantasy to learn all you can about why he is motivated to fantasize about it. Then make him climax and start again and see what the answers are while being cruel and strict. Playing the reels can be a powerful eye opener, a motivator and a way to build vulnerability and intimacy to you both. You will likely learn about his self esteem and be able to make corrections so he will enjoy his service to you and you can better enjoy being served
Author: 2011-01-29 17:18:10 [reply]
Victor Love this idea! Very erotic just to read. Great communication helps to have great sex. I would love to have my wife do this with me!
Reply by: Newlover 2012-11-21 14:47:50
A wiseman once told me that EVERYONE has something worth listening too and when you listen enough you will get smarter. We value the ideas and opinions of our readers on the topic of "Describe hot sex for her - Issues in female led relationships. "True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information." Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)
I could write a best seller with these answers, what is hot sex in FLR?
Author: 2010-12-10 18:33:37 [reply]
Anytime I feel his arousal from what I am going
Author: 2011-01-23 09:00:52 [reply]
Hot Sex is whatever I want, when I want it, with him at my beck and call. If I require certain parts of him or certain acts then he moves into whatever position I wish. We have protocol of course, but I like to change it up. I am turned on his surprise and then his scramble to please me. It is especially sizzling when I receive verbal response from what I'm taking and enjoying.
Author: 2011-01-26 12:07:46 [reply]
Livilicious Are you always the initiator? Dominant in the bedroom? Switch roles?
Reply by: 2012-11-21 14:49:34 [reply]
Hot sex is taking control of a man in spontaneous situations. Tease him with texts while he is busy at work, make movies of myself masturbating and send it to him, and pounce on him as soon as he gets home. Dominating a man makes a woman feel like a deity, and makes it a memorable session.
Author: 2011-01-26 12:10:54 [reply]
Girlwithadirtymind these are great ideas. i love to text and tease my wife. it even works some times.
Reply by: 2011-11-22 17:14:39 [reply]
One idea is when a man cannot control his masturbation -- collar him then chain his wrists to his collar in front of his body so he can still serve/work but cannot touch is member. To restrain who who struggle during spankings and gets their hands in the way the same method will be successful. The idea is the punishment brings attention to the issue and it is undesirable.
Author: 2011-01-29 17:19:21 [reply]
Alice I think the topic of controlling his masturbation as a turn on for the woman is very apropos. I would love for the woman of my dreams to find this sexually arousing/fulfilling. I think it needs to be part of a Female led relationship anyway, but that she enjoyed it and got sexual satisfaction from the control would be ideal, IMHO.
Reply by: 2011-05-21 10:05:21 [reply]
She gets most worked up in a "Valentine's Day" type of scenario. I'll ask her casually if she plans to stay late at work, and tell her I hate to be left alone. I'll wear underwear she's never seen before, or a scent I've never worn, order in an expensive meal, light candles, all of that. I'll tuck a boudoir picture of myself into her dayplanner. It's her role to look forward to it all day, then accept the gift, to lie back and be pleased by me, which always starts with head. We've tried spanking and bondage, and it can be a thrill, but no more than any other couple.
Author: 2011-02-03 08:33:31 [reply]
D_Antoni Dressing up for her is a great idea. I like the thought of men doing things to make themselves more attractive for me. It makes me feel special - well done.
Reply by: 2011-02-05 16:53:58 [reply]
VickLLT Nice when both parties dress for sex!
Reply by: 2012-11-21 14:53:51
For me, I get a thrill teasing him then saying no to climax, after several days of this with him all teased up, he is like a man in heat and will do anything to climax, that is when it gets fun.
Author: 2011-09-19 07:36:43 [reply]
Oceania_Anne what if my wife is 55 and doesn't want sex
Reply by: 2011-09-24 23:40:27 [reply]
Guest If you are following her and have surendered sex to her then you need to follow her lead. If that is not the case I think a conversation or a series of them is a good idea. In relationships partners recognize the needs of their opposits so she may have some ideas for you.
Reply by: 2011-09-25 07:20:59
Oceania_Anne Sounds fun for all....
Reply by: 2012-11-21 14:52:53 [reply]
I have to initiate sex, and my wife is responsive. I wish she would start things and be the seducer. I have asked her but she is in menopause. I still have needs and fantasies. Love to keep exploring. Any ideas?
Author: 2012-11-21 14:52:10 [reply]
Hmmm...well I find physical affection and sexual stimulation relaxing. so when I get home from.work, I like to have my S/O come kneel down beside out bed. Then I take my boots off and he kisses/sucks my toes. But it`s affectionate on both our parts, I don`t bark orders or anything. I pet hid head and back and tell him I love him, make lots of eye contact etc. Then I gently pull him up and have him give me oral, both up front and around back (I LOVE that) until I climax. Then, it depends how feel. I might just want.cuddling, I might bring him to climax,
or I might do some SM play/strap on, etc..Which.for the record I separate from FLR it`s purely an in the bedroom kink and not integral to my leadership. - edited by staff [reason: rightly said, FLR and S/M are not the same or related in any way - we do like to know what couples do though - thanks]
Author: 2012-11-25 21:12:43 [reply]
I feel like the hysterical need of women for men to be 'strong' and confident breeds disdain in me, in terms of relationships. I want my women to be strong and confident. Most women are strong, often stronger than they think. However patriarchy has greatly eroded the confidence of many women. It isn't always the case, but when I read about women needing a 'strong and confident man' it speaks volumes about their own insecurity. I am a loving, attentive man, if my partner needs me to be strong and confident, that will come from how she grooms and treats me and vice-versa, how I respond to her. If women want love and respect from men they have to act like they deserve it, this is why FLR is important. Men respect strong, confident women. They are less likely to cheat on them, to disrespect them and physically or emotionally harm them. In the respect they gain, they grow in love and understanding and their own self-confidence grows. Most 'Confident' men are actually putting on an elaborate front that puts them under great stress and can lead to all sorts of social, emotional and relationship problems.
Author: 2012-11-26 09:14:05 [reply]
Mikey_Adore Although you state that you are attentive, this seems to be all about you and what you want. It might help to think a bit more about what the woman in your life actually wants, and not to make your respect for her conditional on whether she "acts like she deserves it." Just decide that she does deserve it, and watch her grow as a leader. Talking about women as having hysterical needs sounds 200 years out of date.
Reply by: 2012-11-26 13:43:54 [reply]
Mikey_Adore you said " If women want love and respect from men they have to act like they deserve it, this is why FLR is important" - that is NOT true, respect is given and earned, you might look at this from a leader's perspective, where she needs to trust you as her mate and follower, you should act like you deserve it!
Reply by: 2012-11-27 09:19:39 [reply]
My last statement may have been a bit strong, a lingering bitterness from earlier rejections from the simple fact that I didn't play an 'alpha' role. Of course everyone deserves respect, but I know I fell for the one who is everything to me because she could speak her mind and never lets anything that bothers her slide, even though she is often quiet, she is very observant and strong willed. I'm not suggesting FLR is for all women and that I entertain some sort of fantasy about a universal matriarchy. However in life I have had a lot of female friends hurt because they didn't stand up for themselves in relationships, or take a strong position when they should, and some male friends left confused and hurt by women that failed to make their positions clear to them. I believe awareness of FLR is important because not all women are as self-assured as my girlfriend, and all too many men think they can handle leadership in a relationship when they cannot, so generally, learning to accept that not only are there other options for maintaining a relationship, but also there is no shame in relinquishing power as a man in a relationship. Anyway, I seem to have strayed way off topic, sorry.
Author: 2012-11-27 19:34:39 [reply]
Hot sex for her is when she has a fantasy you can fulfill even when it is everyday in real life. Ask her about her fantasies and turn-ons then joyfully and skillfully fulfill them. She will have a lot more turn-ons when the dishes are done.
Author: 2013-01-22 21:29:08 [reply]
Hot Sex for my lovely wife is when I get home for work and make dinner and clean up. Then she will invite me to the bed room afterwards and I will be ordered to strip down completely naked and kneel in front of her suck her toes. From there Im told to work my way up to please her orally. Afterwards I may use my strap on if she desires pentatration. I'm very rarely am allowed to have penat rating sex. Her desire is for me to perform orally.
Author: 2015-07-14 20:34:49 [reply]