How is stealth service a bad thing?

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How is stealth service a bad thing?

Men's Accountibility Groups Home > Introducing your Wife or Mate to FLR MAG class > How is stealth service a bad thing?

What our MAG members say

Stealth service is like doing things with a hidden agenda. I help my Wife lead a less stressful life because I truly believe in supporting her happiness. And when She is happy, our relationship is better.
Author: LittleMiss-Hubby 2017-10-19 08:14:58   
This is what the handbook says. Stealthy service is not selfless. It is "delivered" by the guy in hopes of winning her over. Stealthy service is not necessarily based on her needs, and is not exchanged for her approval. It smacks of "Do-Me" demands by him, based on his making himself deserving by "Doing her first".
Author: David Jeeves 2017-10-10 20:07:10   
Its important to be open. Make your intentions clear, keeping them in the dark will only lead to disappointment when your intentions eventually come to light.
Author: JackStephen 2017-07-01 06:11:19   
We all have been stealth on items in our lives. We are scared people will reject us or we try to control them secretly with our behavior. She sees right though your secret intentions or knows something is up. For me being open helped in our relationship. Learning to live the FLR with out a predetermined outcome, brings results better than you can hope. The stealth manner is a phase or fetish, not till you live your devotion in her understanding, now this you must learn to see things through her mind set. You realize your thoughts can be improved by her insight. She leads you in ways unknown to your understanding , the incredible sensation in her being fulfills you inner most desires. We must et go of control and allow her to guide and form you into a new person. The new you van only begin to be created by her if you surrender yourself to her will in your life.
Author: Flrjer 2017-06-01 11:32:43   
I think stealth service is good at the first to prepare broaching the topic, but is important to find way to communicate about the relation. This helps the woman to grow up in her dominant role.
Author: Gammagamma64 2016-09-06 05:12:49   
It could seem suspicious guilt of a major offense ie infidelity porn addiction anything she considers wrong
Author: Lelandswede333 2016-03-29 05:40:08   
Being stealthy in any way seams counterproductive and out of character for a good honest submisive man
Author: Steven4FLR 2015-12-18 19:02:38   
As rightly mentioned many men attempt stealth service and get all worked up over it . Anything overly done is always bad .
Author: Sandy_2 2015-12-11 11:26:54   
For a true strong partner in any relation you are setting the stage for failure through attempted manipulation and breach of trust . worse, you are assuming you cannot have a reasoned dialogue with your partner and explore your interests (women want demonstrated openness, communication and engagement from their partners)
Author: Baloo.1957 2015-07-19 11:47:45   
IT always comes and haunts you eventually, hiding and or not letting the truth out there, is worst in FLR
Author: Mario4Level3 2015-06-25 18:56:54   
Stealth service is fundamentally manipulative; no one likes feeling manipulated. If too stealthy, it might also not be noticed at all (which might, arguably, be worse!). Strong, effective communication is crucial! It's always better to explicitly check-in regularly and be sure you're doing what She wants, and not missing VALID oppurtunities (as opposed to those that only exist in your mind, not hers).
Author: Mr.Bill 2015-04-28 17:24:12   
Not being open about what you do makes if look like it is wrong. You should celebrate what is right. Being open is also good for both of you.
Author: 1goodguy2u 2015-02-22 02:22:44   
Stealth service is like putting a bandaid on an open wound. This short term thing is only detrimental to long term. Since it will be only temporary this will destroy further the relationship.
Author: Eric_vi 2014-09-05 13:31:59   
By not letting their partner see what they are doing it gives the illusion something is wrong. Being open and showing what you are doing lets your partner know everything is OK.
Author: Davesma 2014-08-18 22:36:37   
I have no idea but im against anything that includes hiding and stress and I dont do stress :D just man up and accept who you are and give others to accept you for who you are too .
Author: Michaelwarlock 2014-07-28 07:14:15   
I think one has to be honest. Let your woman know about your thoughts, wishes and even your fantasies on the subject of FLR. Start with that before you change your behaviors. After some discussion, you'll know if she is interested in more discussions, and if she is even interested in being served. Also I think your "service" is more of a service if it's something she wants done in the manner in which she wants it done. Give her the option to choose which services she requires of you. Otherwise, you're really serving yourself and your fantasies, not her.
Author: NorthCa 2014-07-10 18:18:57   
I am kind of confused. I do not know if I am being stealthy or not i have told her that I am interested i FLR and what it is about. I have told her that i derive great pleasure from pleasing her and I want to do that. I told her I would like herr to tell me how to please her. II hhave tod her that i am interested in FLR. and that what I am ding is the things that are in the FLR lifestyle. so i do not think i am doing things that are stealthy.II am doing the things that give great pleasure, and that is the things that please her. I guess stealth is doing those things with ut letting her know what my agenda is. well that is a bad thing because it can lead to mistrust.
Author: Wannapleaser 2014-06-01 12:05:36   
I have been providing "stealth services" to my wife for a while now. Mainly by trying to do more work around the house as well as by getting our children to do more. She had complained that she doesn't have the time nor patience to fight with the kids about getting things done or to do things herself. So, I've stepped in and done more in this area. When she's asked me why, I tell her, I'm just trying to be more helpful and make her life a little bit easier. At first she was somewhat suspicious of my motives. But over time, she's warmed up to me being more involved. We do not have an FLR. Nor have we ever discussed one. But, I feel that by assuming her leadership in certain areas and asking her to tell me or let me know what things need to be done, I'm encouraging her leadership. Which I hope will help her grow her confidence in other areas. So, I've been honest and supportive but not "outed" myself as wanting FLR. I don't see this as negative per se, just necessary for our relationship right now.
Author: SteveM999 2014-03-02 10:42:38   
stealth service is like trying to make her being the flr you want. It can be by capitulating in a discussion or pumper her or doing things that in reality are like bribe to make her be in charge. We cannot motivate a woman this way
Author: Dionn_4FD 2014-01-22 18:37:46   
Stealth service is disrespectful. it is an insult to her intelligence. If I have to engage in stealth it is then for my own prurient interests and not driven our of love , respect and the desire to serve and support her as my leader. I will be open and honest in my motive and reasons behind my need to serve her and allow her, in her fairness, to address those needs as she sees fit.
Author: Devoted Husband 2013-08-23 11:59:53   

 

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