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Men discussing FLR Dark - open forum?

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MAG is new so please report any issues you are having. We are working hard to make your FLR experience successful and your experience with this website enjoyable.
Author: Admin 2011-03-10 07:53:19   
Admin I was having an issue turning on reputation points, then it suddenly worked - did you fix it?
Reply by: Radzzz 2011-03-11 19:49:17    
Welcome to MAG 1 - I suggest everyone turn on your reputation points. They are an encouragement to participate. Let me know if you have any questions.
Author: Prickly Pear 2011-03-10 07:17:22   

MAG Highlights

MAG 1 group assignment 7: discuss positive images of women as leaders, how does that help FLR Positive images of women and the converse negative images of women is an immense area of study. There is a wealth of information concerning negative images of women in media. This area is important to us as the internet, the primary source of darkflr and femdom images, is of course media. In an article written by Nicole Smith she begins by stating: “Harmful representations of women in the media are not just limited to television or films; they are wide-ranging and can be found in nearly every medium in popular culture. Three of the mostly widely consumed mediums for these depictions of females are television, video games, and magazines and each one of these has a corresponding set of unique problems. While there are many other issues related to the way females are repented for viewers, for the purposes of this essay it is useful to explore gender stereotypes in television, overly sexualized images of women in video games, and unrealistic images in magazines. As a whole, these three issues support the idea that these problems have a negative effect on the way women not only perceive themselves but how our culture understands them as well.”(1) Paraphrasing Ms. Smith begins by examining popular television, “[most] widely viewed mediums in this country,” and she her thesis is: “ [television] is responsible for some harmful representations of women because, among other reasons, it supports many gender stereotypes. These stereotypes are harmful for women because they confine women to several gender-specific roles that are not always true.”(2) Ms. Smith goes on to examine several television shows where she points out this gender specific stereotyping. Ms. Smith comes to the conclusion that women are hurt by this stereotyping because they can come to believe they are not “normal” or women are not living the way “real” women live.(3) Discussing video games and I find this conclusion particularly on point with femdom images, Ms. Smith concludes: “This makes both boys and girls prone to idolizing an unrealistic woman and might make the real women look dull in comparison. Women in this game, at least the central character, Laura Croft, is an unattainable ideal and that is, in itself, a very damaging notion for both genders.”(4) If you close your eyes for but a moment and think Femdom does a specific picture come to mind. Stereotyping on the internet and especially in the area of Femdom exists. Are these images positive? If our attraction, the focus of our female led, are our wives, long term life partners or girlfriends and they are not professional domes, then I believe we can conclude that being a cold and heartless, armor clad female is not the best image and does not portray the nurturing and loving female led, we hope comes home to us (break a stereotype a little). Although Ms. Smith writes about the negative images of women in media by exposing the problem she is actually working to create positive images about women. So who are and what are the positive images we hope to advocate? It has been suggested within another Mag members answer that strong women in politics are positive images. I agree and supplement the list with the names of Shirley Chisholm, Barbra Jordan, Madeline Albright, Margret Thatcher and although not purely political Maya Angelou. In sports the names of Billie Jean King, a long time supporter of positive female images, comes to mind. In track and field Wilma Rudolph and much more currently Mia Hamm and Michele Akers in soccer come to mind. These are strong women, at the top of their game showing the world that women can do and more importantly women succeed. At home you probably need to look no further than that beautiful (most broadly define), smart and hard working women right there in your own house. Women deserve us to be the very best that we can be. A positive flr can only support, empower and free your female lead. In the poetic words of Ms. Angelou: I am mate to Kilimanjaro Fujiyama, Mont Blac and Sister to Everest He who is daring and brave will know what to do. (5) Respectfully submitted, gat1207 1. The Extent of Damaging Representations of Women in the Media an Article by Nicole Smith at http://www.articlemyriad.com/9.htm 2. ibid 3. ibid 4. ibid 5. Maya Angelou “Now Sheba Sings the Soung” E.P. Dutton Dial Books 1987
Author: Gat1207 2011-03-18 12:41:09   
Gat1207 Once again Gat1207 nails some good points. One of the authors of some of the content on this website is Liz, she is a journalist, an athlete and a woman to be contended with. There is a real beauty in women who express themselves as independent. In Liz's case as an athelete and feminist. Building a positive image in our minds as men is just a simple step away in seeing women for who they are not in seeing them in comparison to others especially in media where we only get a snapshot at their best. I started noticing how beautiful women get when they go out to the ballet many years ago when my daughters and my love and I went as a family. It gives me genuine appreciation to have that image in my mind. 20 points awarded for the ideas "we get our cues from media, media sets the standard which is unrealistic"
Reply by: Prickly Pear 2011-03-18 15:53:17   
Gat1207 As a follow up to Gat1207's great post, it's worth googling to find out about the Bechdel Test. To pass this test a movie must:1. Have at least two women characters 2. Who talk to each other 3. About something other than a man or men. The idea that women don't exist just as a function of male lead characters is so basic, but the shocking number of movies that fail the test shows how media shape our views about women. We men, even many flr men, need to make more of a conscious effort to resocialise ourselves and those around us about women's agency. Women are not there just for us, including not for our femdom fantasies. We need to deepen our understanding of what the woman in our lives really wants, and ask ourselves how we can do more to support her own achievement of that. Her achievement is her achievement, not a gift we bestow. She gets the Oscar for lead actor in the movie of her life. We can aim for the Oscar as Best Supporting Actor. Maybe she also gets the Oscar for Best Director of the movie about that relationship. Directors know how to get the best out of their cast. The best supporting actors respond actively and use their own talents to make their contribution.
Reply by: Karim56 2012-10-16 23:57:34   

What our MAG members say

Fantasies are not real and over time the fantasy will get farther away from reality. This will create a vacuum or chasm which leads to a sense of emptiness.
Author: Jammes12 2018-01-26 07:34:26   
Her confidence will grow when she knows she has complete support and admiration of her man and the more confident she becomes the better leader she will be and the better leader she becomes the more satisfying the FLR lifestyle for the man.
Author: Jammes12 2018-01-26 07:30:28   
Everyone has needs but a FLR man will transform his needs into serving. By changing his way of thinking through training he can become more fulfilled and less focused on self.
Author: Jammes12 2018-01-26 07:28:33   
Stay busy in other ways mostly by working to make as much money as possible to be direct deposited into her account, domestic duties and spending free time doing things together.
Author: Jammes12 2018-01-26 07:25:54   
There is less or almost no conflict the more her man does what she wants. An FLR man should minimize selfish tendencies as much as possible.
Author: Jammes12 2018-01-26 07:22:49   
FLR men should be supportive and ensure that his woman has a satisfying sex life. His primary goal will be to give her pleasure in the manner she prefers. In this way he will achieve satisfaction and happiness.
Author: Jammes12 2018-01-26 07:14:02   
There have been many positive images of women leaders in the last ten years or so. Mostly in the media but also more world leaders are women. That is a trend that hopefully will continue. Many cultures will slowly shift to female leaders in the future.
Author: Jammes12 2018-01-26 07:11:37   
A relationship based upon fantasies is like the biblical house built on sand because there is no foundation other than illusory ideals that when realized do not often meet with reality. This inability to meet with reality often leaves a lingering unsatisfied hunger that will eventually result in the collapse of the relationship. Without the foundation of reality the relationship is doomed to crumble because it is not based on a solid foundation but on a weak foundation of illusion.
Author: Simmer51 2018-01-02 19:24:37   
It is easy to respond to this question. If the wife has the confidence at home as a leader it would be an easy transfer to the rest of her life, whatever that may be. A loving partner participates in the success of his partner because by encouraging, listening helping out and demonstrating total commitment to her success. if that is accomplished she may have much more interest in helping you with your fantasies because it is an intimate thank you for your love and support. Your fantasies are secondary so any fulfillment of your fantasies would be a bonus, You would already feel a sense of fulfillment by supporting your spouse in her endeavours.
Author: Simmer51 2018-01-02 19:13:18   
The importance of fulfilling the pyramid of needs is paramount in this type of relationship. There are any number of ways of accomplishing this. The suggestion in the question is certainly a good way to accomplish this but it is not always practical, especially if children are involved in the equation. In order to fulfill the pyramid of needs it is important to take as much pressure off of the woman as possible. We have all heard of the super woman, who does everything, ie runs a business and then comes home to look after the children and do the wash and keep the house tidy etc --- We all know that this model does not create a super-woman but a very burnt out spouse who is liable to break down at some point and feel guilty about letting one or more of her duties go for a while. This produces an angry, frustrated and very tired woman who, in order to function needs to discover herself away from parts of the relationship. So it becomes the responsibility of the man to help her achieve every level of the pyramid without her spinning out of control. Since it is a relationship lots of together time is necessary -- naked or not --- but naked seems to be a way of removing barriers and encouraging intimacy. But the man must pick up a lot of the slack to allow his woman to actualize herself in the best way possible. He can do this as I previously stated by picking up the slack around the house and if there are kids, with the kids. He must also be prepared to cater to her physical, emotional, pscychological, and spiritual needs.
Author: Simmer51 2018-01-02 19:02:43   
As stated in the question an idea might be to eliminate solo late night activities without supervision. I feel that may work but it may also create frustration because a level of trust is missing. Chastity is one extreme way of ensuring that there will be no porn induced masturbation but that doesn't prevent you from looking at porn. Perhaps the discomfort of arousal while in chastity may be a deterrent. Another way of discouraging looking at internet porn would be to schedule activities that do not allow for sneaking off to look at porn. Lots of intimacy would also be another way of discouraging consumption of porn. A firm commitment to stay away from porn may be a way of creating disinterest or overcome the need for porn.
Author: Simmer51 2018-01-02 18:54:58   
i feel the main benefit of moving towards where the woman wants you to be is a sign of your submission to her wishes which will give her the opportunity to relax and accomplish what she needs to accomplish in life. As a supporter of her success a man should dedicate himself to being the man she wants him to be.
Author: Simmer51 2018-01-02 18:48:24   
When a man is called upon to initiate sex the first consideration should be her pleasure rather than the previous get her going and then switch over to the male who is the primary recipient of pleasure. A man should be prepared to initiate sex without expecting reciprocity. His main objective should be her pleasure and only that.
Author: Simmer51 2018-01-02 18:43:51   
Fortunately in our day and age there are many possibilities for finding figures of respect, honour, quality as leaders in every domain of life. In political life there are many examples of women who have served with distinction at all levels of politics from local to international. There was a time when women in sports were somewhat of a novelty and they were not seen as leaders but as curiosities. In this day and age it is clear that as more and more professional leagues in sports emerge that women are taking more and more of the stage in the sports world. In the business world, the glass ceiling was always a well--know fact of business life. Now more and more of fortune 500 businesses are taking on women as CEOs and other managing positions. There is still a long way to go in achieving equality but more and more companies are looking to women to be top management. Women are becoming leaders in almost every domain of work as well from truck drivers, to welders, to mechanics and any other type of job which was considered a man's domain. All of this makes the future look bright for women. One step that is occurring is the me-too movement that is eliminating the idea that any woman every where is an object of sexual desire.
Author: Simmer51 2018-01-02 18:40:56   
Fantasies are not reality as we are all busy balancing our personal relationships, our work objectives, and being outstanding partners to one another; sure fantasy is good in the bedroom but beyond that it serves no purpose
Author: Whateveryoudesire 2017-10-31 22:23:01   
Being her cheerleader provides a sense of importance, belief in her abilities to lead, and reflects the trust a man has in his woman - again these components are ground in relationship building
Author: Whateveryoudesire 2017-10-31 22:19:57   
Fulfilling her pyramid is another step closer to making her happy and that's what a male desires; communications and affection are the best ways to a woman's heart and as such provide a baseline around relationship stability
Author: Whateveryoudesire 2017-10-31 22:17:39   
The easiest and most direct way is to go "cold turkey", remember by doing this you please the female in your life
Author: Whateveryoudesire 2017-10-31 22:14:33   
Benefits include making her happy, being rewarded, gaining her favor 0 just pleasing her is pure motivatin for the male species
Author: Whateveryoudesire 2017-10-31 22:10:54   
Communication is a key factor and a smart man knows to ask what is best for her; listening and watching her cues are the baseline
Author: Whateveryoudesire 2017-10-31 22:09:11   

 

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