Why is it important for couples to discuss ''must haves?''

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Why is it important for couples to discuss ''must haves?''

Men's Accountibility Groups Home > Negotiation in Relationships - The 5 Food Groups for Men > Why is it important for couples to discuss ''must haves?''

What our MAG members say

Setting these before will help if a man tries to resist something she desires down the road
Author: Panchafinder5 2017-11-03 18:48:51   
It's important to disclose this so each mate knows what the must haves are and if there are any conflicts they can be negotiated at that time
Author: Igor2learn 2017-10-24 21:12:13   
That will prevent conflict. Conflict arises when needs are not met. Once "must haves" are set forth, and agreed upon, then goals are clear and conflict is reduced. Resentment builds when must haves are not met. Resentment harms the FLR
Author: ProfessionallookingforhisBOSS 2017-10-02 12:33:06   
It is essential to know what your life partner "must have"! Then you can concentrate on manifesting the "must haves" as soon as possible, and you can be alert to protect the "must haves" from all harm. I think it would be terrible to have to guess what are my wife's "must haves". As time goes by, there can sometimes be a new revelation: "a gun in the house would be a deal breaker" for instance.
Author: David Jeeves 2017-09-15 15:58:18   
One party cannot assume or anticipate what the other's chief end in the relationship is. It has to be discussed, although particularly the man will fear rejection from the woman.
Author: Philipt 2017-08-08 08:20:46   
Incorporating "must haves" in a relationships allow both partners to take steps early on to make it easier to achieve those goals.
Author: JackStephen 2017-07-01 05:09:23   
The couples need to discuss the have and have nots for their own peace of self confidence. If a person is not honest with another there is a lack of confidence in both. Some have and have nots are easy to discuss in each of the food groups and difficult in others. So as we learn to trust our decision to FLR and to trust in the process it makes our life more livable and pleasant. Learning how she gravitates in ideas and decisions is fun challenging and rewarding for both of us in our new roles and life choices. The learning on my part of her needs and wants leads to her understanding of my needs and wants or have and have nots. We are so growing as a couple our life is being fulfilled and reenergized by our choice to live FLR
Author: Flrjer 2017-05-14 19:38:45   
These are the core deal breakers that must be addressed in order for relationship to progress in any meaningful direction.
Author: Jeffrey_3 2017-03-06 21:32:20   
Must haves set clear boundaries for the couple as to what the minimum expectations are for the couple. By clearly identifying boundaries both parties can reduce disappointment and reach their goals and sense of personal fulfilment.
Author: Butler1975 2017-01-03 09:59:36   
Well if you discuss 'must haves' then you can establish things you definitely want to happen and ensure both of you are happy about
Author: DorianGrey 2016-10-24 13:20:00   
EVERY person has some "must haves". They are the basic things that we need to survive. If our must haves are not met, then we feel like life is missing something and will look elsewhere. That is the death nell of a FLR. Over time, our must haves can and do change. As the relationship evolves, both persons must haves will change and must be communicated.
Author: Thomas260 2016-10-13 19:42:51   
Naturally, the woman will always have the final say, as she should. But if you discuss matters with her in a kind, respectful and loving way, she will get a better idea as to your train of thought, and perhaps take your opinions into account with some of her future decisions. Joe Z.
Author: Maroons1p[spammer] 2016-10-03 17:33:55   
Both people need to express their boundaries even submissive have them. Opinions should be expressed freely even when the woman has the final word and say so.
Author: Helpme555 2016-09-21 13:58:46   
This is a very advanced and sensible approach to helping ensure a relationship has a very good chance of succeeding. As it focuses each party to understand themselves and what is vitally important to each and try and negotiate to achieve the main ones at the expensive of giving up some for a working compromise.
Author: Perversey 2016-09-16 09:25:55   
Because then each couple has openly and honestly communicated what their needs are. Assumptions won't work because they aren't part of open and direct communication.
Author: Ericthebritt 2016-08-21 01:41:23   
must have must be discussed to assure both parties receive what they desire , conformation must be given that must have will be respected and adhered to
Author: Readytoplease 2016-05-14 14:02:30   
Every individual in a relationship has needs - emotional, material, recreational etc. If these are discussed/negotiated from the outset so that each partner has a clearer understanding of each others needs, it will minimise the risk of arguments/dissention as the relationship progresses.
Author: SterlingServer 2016-03-05 04:54:50   
SterlingServer My thoughts exactly. EVERY person has needs and wants. In a FLR the mans "wants" will be determined by the woman. Depending on these "wants" she will either allow them, not allow them, or modify them. His "needs" are a little harder to change if she doesn't see them as "needs", but over time she may change his point of view and he will no longer see them as "needs" as the relationship grows and the level of the relationship. If the relationship level goes to a Level 4, then his needs and wants will slowly dwindle down to 1 need. The need to serve Her. But in real life, even at this point he will still have some needs and wants and hopefully these will still be met to avoid a build up of resentment.
Reply by: Thomas260 2016-10-13 16:07:59   
Its always better to set the realistic expectations and both parties agree to it . Later both should comply to the rules set by themselves inorder to have a fruitful long lasting relationship . There should not be any room for assumptions and the must haves also helps the leader to take corrective actions when there is a deviation from the required expectation . Creating a list of must haves is the same as setting boundaries; some people also call a special set of boundaries “deal breakers.” When you examine the attributes you want in a partner (and don’t want) and what you want from life and relationship -- the must haves are a guide to get what and who you are looking for. In existing relationship they are a guide to how far you need to go to reach fulfillment. Must haves are your guide to personal fulfillment.
Author: Sandy_2 2015-12-22 00:57:10   
i have a few 'must haves' such as i must ride my bicycle for health
Author: Steven4FLR 2015-11-02 10:50:30   
Must Haves must be discussed at the onset of a relationship, there are must haves that for instance the man wants to perform but can not for some reason, these need to be communicated at the onset so no problems will arise later.
Author: Mario4Level3 2015-06-25 17:44:30   


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