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I happily serve my wife in an amazing Wife Led Marriage (WLM). It has been an amazing journey over the last 20+ years with a lot of ups and downs. The early years were challenging trying to figure out how the WLM should work. We faltered a lot and got off track many times. Eventually, after several years, things started to fall in place and click for us and now we are humming along perfectly. We have a nice mix of real world, fantasy, and kink. It is a natural lifestyle for us now. We are not openly public about our WLN, but because her authority over me has become so natural, I am sure friends and family know something is going on. I absolutely love all of it and feel so close and in love with my wife.
I am posting here because WLM is amazing and I want to help others succeed in their FLR/WLM journey. There is a lot of advice out there (some good and some bad) about starting a FLR, but very little about keeping it going and growing into a a strong FLR. I can help with that. As noted in the heading, I am not seeking a relationship, but am offering to share experiences and examples of things that work for us, to women who are trying to start a FLR or who may struggling to keep their FLR on track. Feel free to send me questions.
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I am responding to a message from a dominant who asked me to review her profile and post suggestions for her profile on this forum. I am honored to receive such a request. I must admit that this is not an area that I feel I have a lot of expertise since I am not actively looking for a dominant and I have been married for a long time. However, I will do my best to respond.
Your profile is wonderful. I love how your humorous personality shows through and that you are clear about what you expect, what you are looking for, and where his place will be in your relationship. Perhaps a way to enhance your profile is to add information about your style of domination such as will you have punishment and discipline and are you into bondage. How will you train your slave and how will he serve you? Are you interested in kink or just a person to follow your orders. Those are just some examples and certainly not areas that you need to define. If you are not sure, It’s ok to leave it open ended and say something like, “I am new to FLR and am looking to explore the lifestyle together and try new things.” For my wife and I, it has been a wonderful journey that we have explored together and so in my opinion, it is appropriate and intriguing to not define too much of what you expect in the FLR, but rather leave it as a area for fun exploration. However, providing a little more detail I think would enhance your already fabulous profile.
Hope this response helps you and gives you thought provoking ideas.
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Hello Joe,
I am really interested in knowing about how you both learned to stay on track and maintain the relationship. I can completely relate to your comments about faltering and getting off track. In my own experience the ability to keep the dynamic going and not drift back into old habits and behaviors was a problem. There was an on again and off again cycle that went on for years. We often had several weeks or months of really good connection and satisfying interactions.
When one or both of us got busy or stressed with other things, the dynamic would gradually be put aside and even given up completely for a time, only to re-start when one of us, usually me, professed the desire to return to the behaviors and relationship style that had made us happy and seemed to work so much better. We would start anew. This cycle repeated many times until we broke up and divorced.We were both independent thinkers and doers. We often spent time doing our own things and not always spending a lot of time together. Regardless, sometimes, not always, this worked well too. I enjoyed being the house husband and keeping things in order or helping her with things that made her life easier during her busy times with work or other activities that she spent time on. It was always exciting for a time to be in that supportive role.
However, when I too had a lot to do or was really involved in other things outside of the home, things went off track and sometimes completely, for weeks or months.I have to admit that masturbation was a part of the drop off for me. Once I started that, during times we were busy with our own things, there was a definite loss of the more pleasant and functional dynamic that we both seemed to want. However, I don’t think that was the whole cause. Perhaps it was and I can’t admit it. However, it was a contributing factor to be sure.
A device didn’t work. She thought it was silly. I found it uncomfortable and very impractical for leading a real life outside of the relationship. Going to the gym, swimming, public restrooms, whatever. It just didn’t work for me, especially as she thought it ridiculous as well. We did try it. I still find it to be an interesting fantasy. However, for a full real life it didn’t work for us.Anyway, thanks for your post and if you would like to share anything you learned then please do, write here or shoot me a message. Happy holidays to you.
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Your experience does sound similar to mine in the early years of my FLR. I am sorry to hear that it did not work out for you in the end. It took patience and gently persistence from me to get my wife to fully embrace her dominance. Just as you had noted, I also was the one that would eventually ask to get things back on track when we faltered. However, a very exciting day for me was the first time my wife came to me and said she wanted to get things back on track because she missed having me serve her. It was at that point that I knew we had turned the corner in our FLR and things were starting to click with her being dominant. One thing that helped us stay on track was establishing a few key weekly routines that we tried to always do. Examples include a weekly review session, weekly massages for her, and corner time for me. For all these routines I am naked or wearing silky panties or wearing collar and cuffs. Dressing this way or being naked helps to create the dominate/submissive mindset.
The review session consists of her holding my cock while she reviews how well I served her during the week (chores, attitude, followed rules, etc.), and to set expectations for the upcoming week. If she was not pleased with my performance I would receive discipline or punishment. Sometimes the review session only lasted 5 minutes. Having regular sessions was more important than having long sessions. The massage is done in a worship or ritual way. I kiss each body part before massaging it. Once the massage is complete, I kneel by the side of the bed to await further instruction for her. The corner time routine is weekly, and I kneel in the corner for 15 minutes. The purpose of this is to reinforce her dominance over me and for me to spend the 15 minutes meditating on how I can continue to serve her as best I can. Each of these routines are simple and benefit both of us. They are done in ways that bring out her dominance and my submission. No matter how busy we get, we try to keep these core routines going, even if we have to shorten the time or move a routine back one day. If we miss doing a routine one time, it is not a big deal, but if we miss two weeks in a row then we make it a priority to not miss another one. When these routines are in place it helps to keep the other aspects of the FLR going such as me doing chores timely.
Another thing that we do, which I think has helped keep our relationships strong is that we always plan two or three getaways each year with just the two of us. We have done this every year since we’ve been married. When the kids were younger, we would have somebody watch the kids while we went away. The getaways were typically weekend getaways but sometimes we just did long day trips. Sometimes we traveled far and sometimes we just stayed at a local B&B, The getaways serve two purposes for us: The first is just to have fun quality time together, and the second is to indulge deeper into her dominance and my submission. We have kinky fun with a definite theme of me being her slave. We also do fun activities together on the getaway such as go to a festival, see a show, or have a nice dinner. We always come back from the getaways feeling much more intimate with each other and it reenergizes my submissive feelings towards her. I would highly recommend this for any marriage. We did the getaways even before we started our FLR. Prior to FLR, there was not a dom/sub theme at our get aways but the sex was always more wild. Having this time together a few times a year is just a great way to stay connected to each other.
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