Am I in an FLR?

[Billie1965]

My wife takes the lead in our relationship, she makes the decisions, assigns the chores ( not all of them, she likes to do some) handles the finances all that. I am not sure that qualifies as an FLR or not. I have approached her about things like spanking as both punishment and reinforcement, but she has no desire for that so thats ok. She likes her massages and that stuff as well, but gods i am terrified i am going to fuck this up.

• This topic was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Billie1965.

[Frank]

Sounds to me like you’re in a flr… of sorts. Sounds like a lead-follow relationship which suits her need to be in charge and not a dominant-submissive relationship that would seem to fit your needs as a submissive.

[Philip]

I understand your fear. Here’s some free advice. Maybe you simply present and perform those massages as best you can. Mood lighting and music does she have a preferred scent. DO things you know that she enjoys but improve it in small ways. Maybe in being more submissive in the way you perform your duties, she may warm to the idea. But you shouldn’t pressure her. Offer a pedicure while massaging her feet. Best of luck

[Bobbie]

Not all FLRs look the same and in real life FLRs don’t often look like D/s fiction scenarios. If your wife handles all the finances, assigns you chores, and welcomes you pamering her, then that looks like a real-life FLR (to me anyway). So if she doesn’t want to spank you, there’s no reason why she should. It’s all about what she wants!
But as a constructive suggestion, if you havent made a formal agreement defining your FLR, it might be a good idea. You both can review the rules on a periodic schedule and that would be a good time to discuss any correction or discipline.

[Subby Hubby]

Hi Bobbie,
I wonder sometimes what % actually is all about her. I am thinking most FLRs come from his sexual drive. If it’s done right, she benefits so much from it that both are really happy. ( that is my case for sure)this based from personal experience and the fact that the two sites I visited are mostly men participating. That being said, I have worked really hard to make everything about her but if it stopped making me horny, we might have a problem. Just being honest here

[Author]

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