- This topic has 24 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 11 months ago by
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I dont know where you’re coming from, but I wasnt raised around other people, mandvi didn’t adapt to socializing as it’s commonly carried out. Even participants in female led relationships must use common socializing methods in dealing with others, so where does that leave me? I’m Bill.
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Are you asking ME that question? Because I can’t see any way around things, i have little hope that i can participate in the world around me. I know after a lifetime of being torn between where i am and where the average person is, that I’m a straggler of the general schools of fish, and though I’m a guy, this puts me in a place where vulnerability haunts me day and night. The closest I can put it is that I’m a male equivalent of a classical or traditional woman, with basically the same wants and needs.
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I see. My mistake. I would have thought that different conversations would be handled differently. That’s confusing.
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I met my wife through online dating.
She highlighted her ambitious nature and wasn’t shamed into pleasing people. It’s better to have fewer better matches than lots of bad ones
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Maybe I could contribute something here. After two years of looking (online, since dating is artificial and arbitrary to me), I got the message loud and clear that to women, men are to lead and be the head of the household–not possible for me, since even basic participation in society is problematic st best for me. So the wind was knocked out of my sails and I took a much less active interest in things after that. Within the last few months or so, I realized that those engaged in dating use the same social framework to do it in, meaning that i would have to as well, if i were to date even online. So i take no active interest in dating in any form. If a woman addresses me herself, i wont ignore her, but i know that a conversation will still wind up likely being impossible.
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My point is that if you think you have it bad, then what about someone like me? I’m not feeling sorry for myself, because I know that I cant control how things go in life. I would have to wait until a woman encountered me and understood where I was coming from and wanted to take a role in my life accordingly. That would be a rare thing. Even female led relationships almost certainly must abide by the social framework that everyone else uses, so I cant really count on that, either.
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And I want a girlfriend and often feel like I cant have one. I’m making a stab in the dark that you dont know the value of being able to date at all, as opposed to my position of having to kiss dating goodbye until or unless a woman takes a shine to me despite (or maybe because) I need a woman to lead in conversations, even.
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Well, there you go 🙂 I mean that while you may be going through a dry spell, you indicate from your own words that you potentially have a lot of prospects. See what I did there? 🙂 For you the sky is the limit. Because the socialization process was aborted for me early on, I’m not in a position to go on dates, period, let alone talk to women unless they take an interest in me in probably daily life, which is ALSO a problem, since socialization is evidently key to working as well. So what are you complaining about?
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I’ve been single for nearly six years now. That’s because I wasnt raised to date others or make arrangements to do things with others in general. Those are things that collectivists do. Collectivists arent the only people in life. There are those, like me, who believe that doing things with others is based on the natural course of events. If someone has car trouble, for example, and I know something about cars (I dont), then there might be a reason to involve myself with that person. Otherwise they have their lives and I have mine. Does that make sense?
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May I ask you a personal question? You dont have to answer this, but maybe it would help shed some light on things for you (and me too). There is a clear dividing line between those who favor group-protection (the majority) and those who favor self-protection. I’m in the latter category. Are you as well? Do you identify with being a classical or traditional woman who looks to a man for direction, security and love? I look to a strong and responsible woman who has a sense of authority for direction, security and love. You could say that I’m the male equivalent of a classical or traditional woman. That means that I more or less have to wait until the right woman discovers me, and wants to court, romance and bed me as though I were a woman. I cant pose and pretend in order to date or make my way in society. If there’s nothing i can do, then there’s nothing i can do, whether i like it or not.
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