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My wife and I are in our 3rd attempt to create a FLR marriage. She loves it, I love it, and we start out by embracing the lifestyle. But the last two times we did this we lost the spark and slowly slipped back into our old unhappy relationship. We don’t know where we went wrong but my wife is already talking about “when this ends.” My question is, how do we maintain the spark and how do you recognize that you are slipping?
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I wonder Dave; what are you’re happy moments? The moments you feel you’re heart swell or explode? Find out whats underneath and concentrate on that?
For me for example it is to be humble while naming my true feelings. About longing for connection in my love language, the physical/ including but not restraint to sexual. Longing for her to see and recognise my feelings and tell her about that without claiming her body or attention. Just ask while looking into her eyes. Not ever touching her without feeling consent.
And of course last but certainly not least the warmth in her eyes if i actively serve her (mostly non sexual) or do my chores.
But of course its personal. So find out what really makes you’re and you’re wife’s heart tick?Fons
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From the completely uninitiated, I have this to offer from the text,”Surrender, Submit,Serve Her” by Key Barret. Certainly worth read,particularly in your situation. She recommends a regularly scheduled Command and Control meeting. Just as it sounds, the two of you, discuss how last period. Performance notes, work loads specific issues feelings,inability to perform etc.This is the meeting where you discuss and correct the issues that are derailing your process. Notably his input is valid here but SHE is undisputably in control. he recognizes this and speaks only in tones of deference and the utmost respect as your QUEEN deserves. Additionally now would be the time to evaluate failures and consequences. The CNC meeting is an opportunity for him to renew his vows to his Queen.
At both the opening and closing of the CNC to formalize and remind us of our positions. A little ritual helps to set the tone.Congratulations on getting to you present point and Best of luck in your future
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Having planned routines and rituals helps us keep things going. For example having a weekly or monthly review/discipline session, having one weekend a month dedicated to complete servitude toward her, and having one night week as her pampering night (or whatever she likes). Early in our FLR every Tuesday night I would massage my wife and sometimes bathe her and shave her legs. If we missed a routine one time it was not a big deal but we tried hard to not miss two in a row. That helped get us into habits that eventually turned into a FLR lifestyle.
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