Taking her last name.

[FlaFLR]

Is it common for the man to take the Lady’s last name in a Female Led marriage?

[adam]

Yes

[Abby Lee]

I took my wife’s last name as part of our interspousal agreement.

[melvinepunymeier]

I think that it goes without saying that guys should take the lady’s surname in an FLR marriage. Has your queen gone further and said that you should change your first name, as she didn’t like it?

[Bobbie]

When we were married 30 years ago we didn’t know how far down this road we’d go, and followed the conventional practice of my Wife taking my last name. Eventually we talked about my changing my name to Her maiden name and She would change back but it was a lot of trouble and She is very well established in Her business. So She decided that i would go by the feminine form of my first name. So instead of Robert or Bob, i now go by Bobbie.

[melvinepunymeier]

That sounds great Bobbie, it is good that your wife decided about changing your first name. How long have you been Bobbie and are you called Bobbie outside of the home? You sound like you have a very healthy and strong marriage.

If my partner wanted me to change both first name and last name I would be happy to do so.

[Bobbie]

It’s been 12 years now since i started using “Bobbie” and i join memberships and subscribe to magazines that way. In my retirement i worked part-time at a supermarket for a few years and my nametag said “Bobbie”. All our friends call me that, and Robert and Bob are part of my past now.
When we sign up for anything as a couple, it’s always Mrs. and Mr. Her name.

[melvinepunymeier]

It sounds like you are comfortable with your feminine name Bobbie. It is a nice name that can be used for either gender as well. Has anyone changed their male name completely to a name which could be seen as more feminine? How was it received by family and friends?

[Billy0123]

I don’t necessarily agree with this. Taking her last name is just taking her dad and grandfathers last name. It’s still patriarchal. Why not start all over with an entirely new family name? Can even teach your kids to pass it down patriarchal if desired etc etc.

[melvinepunymeier]

Surely in a female led marriage, it is about passing down all things female. So it is right to pass down the female last name and not the male surname?

[Author]

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